Leap of Faith

It’s hard for me to even write about this subject. I’m not sure how people will view or judge me, but I think it’s a struggle many of us go through. That time in your life where you begin to question everything around you. You develop your own ideas of the world, hoping to make sense of it all. Yet sometimes your uncertain...

My whole life I have been brought up to believe in one thing, yet I find solace in another. How do I tell my parents that I don’t believe in what they believe? How do I tell them that I’m doubting? Doubting the many things that they taught me. But I’m afraid. Afraid they would judge me and force me back to believe in something I do not. Or worse, think me possessed. I know some people will think that if I tell them. Most will find me queer, like the people I told. They just walked away. Not giving me any chance to explain why. So, for me, I’m taking a huge leap of faith in writing this.

It all began after a dream I had. I can’t remember much, but the one thing I do remember, I can never forget. It was a woman’s voice. She was powerful, invigorating, loving, caring, and intimidating. Yet even those words don’t bring justice to Her. I felt every emotion at once, but the one emotion strongest was love. An endless flow of love. It was beautiful. I wanted to know who she was. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t dream of her again. So, for a moment, my thoughts turned away from Her. That was until she found me again. Except this time it wasn’t through a dream, it was through a story.

I never gave the story a second thought, but when I re-read it my interest flared. See, the protagonist was a Witch. When people hear or read the word ‘witch’ the image isn’t very pretty. Even I use to picture an ugly woman with a big nose and green skin who dabbled with Satan. But a real Witch is so much more than that. Real Witchcraft is the Magick of the Earth.

Now I’m getting ahead of myself, that discussion is for another day. But when I read about Stacey Brown, I began to investigate. That is where I found Her. Her name is not absolute, “for all Gods are one.” Though to many she is the Great Mother. To me, she is the Great Mother. For you see, I consider myself Pagan. Edain McCoy once wrote: “When one defines oneself as Pagan, it means she or he follows an earth or nature religion, one that sees the divine manifest in all creation. The cycles of nature are our holy days, the earth is our temple, its plants and creatures our partners and teachers. We worship a deity that is both male and female, a mother Goddess and father God, who together created all that is, was, or will be. We respect life, cherish the free will of sentient beings, and accept the sacredness of all creation.”

Of course, I am still ignorant in many things and have yet to learn all the Mysteries. A year and a day. But I am willing to learn. This is a time in my life where I figure out who I am. What I believe in. It’s not easy and sometimes it’s down right petrifying, but I have to be me. Wicca suits me; it embodies everything I believe in. I found where I fit, where I belong. I am a Witch.

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"We are not evil. We don't harm or seduce people. We are not dangerous. We are ordinary people like you. We have families, jobs, hopes, and dreams. We are not a cult. This religion is not a joke. We are not what you think we are from looking at T.V. We are real. We laugh, we cry. We are serious. We have a sense of humor. You don't have to be afraid of us. We don't want to convert you. And please don't try to convert us. Just give us the same right we give you--to live in peace. We are much more similar to you than you think." - Margot Adler